My Day that Sucked

by Ben

I am off this week for March break. Decided to do a few errands, a few of which required going to Staples, which required driving. I don't know about you, but I have safely been driving in Toronto for the past 4.5 years, without incident. Today was, without question, the worst driving day I've ever experienced.

I was nearly sideswiped by an old man who turned left, without looking. He just blindly drove into oncoming traffic. I had to slam on the brakes, and my purse flew against the windshield, spewing my incidentals everywhere.

I wonder what he was thinking, as he pulled in front of my car. "I'm just gonna go. Carl's gotta turn left. Carl's gotta go! Death don't mean shit to Carl! I'll die if I have to! Die!"

Or maybe he just took a huge shit in his Depends, so his judgement was off.

The rest of my journey provided me with multiple examples of driving school 'don'ts'. Did ANYONE watch 'license to drive'? If Corey Haim can pretend to drive safely, all fucked up on drugs, then why can't the average person in Toronto actually drive without incident? Okay, that argument was weak. But when YOU fall asleep at the wheel and sit there when the precious left hand arrow appears, don't give ME the finger for your failure.

I then went to the video store. I rented something, everything was fine, until the see you en tee behind the counter decided to re-charge me the late balance on my account that I had paid on Tuesday. I looked her in the eye and said "I came in Tuesday, and YOU helped me, and I'm all paid up, and that's the end of this fucking story."

Okay, I didn't say Fucking because I was at the FILM BUFF on Roncesvalles and was therefore surrounded by 300,000 children, so I kept my language clean. But seriously, now I'm paranoid that this has happened before, unbeknownst to me.

And now my oven doesn't work! Thanks alot God.