12.21.2006

So I am going to Las Vegas in 3.5 days. I am kind of excited, but I was hoping my brother would come. I keep thinking that he's saying he's not coming so that I will actually be surprised when I see him, but I know that's not the case. That is not the case. That type of thinking is immature and unrealistic. Stupid fucker.

I fell down real bad in the shower this morning. The bruise is directly on my ass crack. It's so weird and big.

Have you ever NOT finished a book? I have, but I don't usually note which books. From this day forward I will keep such a list. The first book is called "Veronica" by Mary Gaitskill which I signed out because I like the name Veronica a lot. I actually liked the character Veronica alot in the book, but the book itself reeked of ass. It actually made me feel sick, when I read it on the subway. I quickly switched to "Specimen Days" by Michael Cunningham and I immediately enjoyed my decision - now that is a tasty bit of story, I tell you. I am going to make a bigger list now of the other books I tried reading but stopped/failed to.

12.06.2006

Hello;

Today is my birthday. I still haven't sent my brother's birthday present, and his was like, 2 weeks ago. I think I am afraid of the post office line up. There are always Polish people arguing with the cashier. I am always so afraid that the Polish cashier is going to fuck up my packages.

Today I got an e-card from a Temp. agency that I applied to three years ago. They haven't sent me shit in three years, but they dared not forget to acknowledge my birth! I sincerely hope they have a program that does this job automatically (although that sounds slightly improbable) instead of an actual human being. Could you imagine? Having that job? I would just send them all on the wrong dates, to the wrong people. IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE WILL NOTICE.
"Umm... you guys like, hired me? and then I quit? and now I'm like employed? but you forgot my birthday? And like last year I got an e-card and I want to speak to someone in charge?"

At my last job, when I was assigned to a tedious job of this nature, I would put the word "fuck" in the middle of things, like deep within our website. It made me feel so good. And if I was working late, I would make sure that whenever I had a sneeze coming, I would let it go on my boss's keyboard. Take that, Princess Fuckface! I would also pull up porn sites on her computer when she wasn't there, and then close them, so if they ever checked she would look like a pervert (a perverted mother of three!).

And the funny thing is, I still have a password for my old work stuff, and I STILL like to fuck shit up. Is that bad? Sometimes I like to change my boss's contact email to read: "dirtyhamcurtain@______.org" (can't put the company name, sorry, that would be SO inconsiderate).