I found this on my desk this morning. I think maybe it's a sign I should clean up a bit, considering at least 10 years have passed since Leo has resembled a Russian supermodel.

Before I moved away to attend University, I cut out pretty much every picture that I could find of both Leonardo DiCaprio and Ewan McGregor. It's so weird, imagining myself sitting on the floor of my gothy teenaged bedroom, listening to Nine Inch Nails, and cutting out photos of pretty boys with the sole intention of putting them up on display in my residence room. Or in the case of Leo, my front door. Some asshole down the hall performed a drunken stumbly thing outside the door one night and ripped off the upper left hand corner, forever ruining Leo's perfect 90's silhouette.

I am often embarrassed when I think of the magazine photos that were unleashed on the walls of my room while living in residence. I was desperately trying, quite unsuccessfully, to prove my coolness amidst a sea of other people who were all trying to do the same thing. I was such a super loser, in the literal sense of the word. I was lost. Someone actually asked me why I had photos of Leonardo on my wall, in a very questionable tone. I replied that he had been in countless quality films. He was like, which ones? And I was all, you know, like, "what's eating Johnny Depp?" Unfortunately, fact checking before the aggressive spread of high-speed internet access was a bitch. We were all victims of our own hippocampi, and my brain wasn't exactly in pristine condition at the end of high school.

After looking at this Details cover, I have no stinking idea how I could have possibly found Leonardo hot. For godsakes, the word "nard" is in the middle of his name. At the time, he wasn't even shaving his face. He sported a male-bob (or "mob") which every girl in their 30's can now add to her hair resume. The only respectable thing I had seen him in was Growing Pains, and I only watched that show to satisfy my secret actual crush on Alan Thicke.

The Ewan McGregor fascination still remains obvious to me now. It all boils down to Trainspotting. At the time, I thought it was the coolest movie ever made: this was probably because I had no connection with about 95% of what was happening on screen. I had not experienced ecstasy-fueled underage sex, nor had I experienced extremely realistic toilet hallucinations after undergoing heroin withdrawal. Nope. Ewan McGregor was so fucking cool in 1996, with his shaved head and tight pants and accent, that he rightly deserved a spot on my wall. No regrets there.

Do young people still do this? I haven't seen the inside of a high school student's locker in at least 4 years... it seems like now, teenagers who sit on the "edgy" side, and need to obsess over someone other than typical choices such as Zac Efron, probably do it to the tune of a little Kevin Bacon, Ricky Martin, Judd Nelson, Jon Cryer, etc. just to catch a few confused and repulsive glances from their peers. Somewhere in this country, there is probably even a young girl with the handsome, burly face of Alan Thicke looking back at her when she opens her locker every morning. And you know what she says before opening that wonderful locker? Show me that smile again. Just show me that smile.