What is going on in these pictures? It looks like a little flirtatious skating to me... flaking, skirting, slirking, skate-f&cking, etc.

As a former (amateur) figure skater who quit before the age of 14, I had nightmares of this actually happening to me. My opinions of romance, with boys, were generally negative at the time. I'm not reticent to describe my thoughts on the opposite sex as "totally gross" until at least the age of 15.

There is something really vast and bare about an on-ice courting session. A skating rink is a public place. Your mom or older brother or science teacher could walk in at any time. There is no place to hide. And if you fall, you basically have to kill yourself before school on Monday.

Now the closest I have ever come to what Brandon Walsh is doing up there was the short period of time in which I took "skate-dance" lessons. For those not familiar with a skater's lexicon, this is basically ice dancing. My parents had to actually pay extra for these lessons, since there were so few male partners. (And yes, there was a rule somewhere that prohibited same-sex couples from skate-dancing.)

If someone had a gun pointed at my head and I HAD to list the pros and cons of skate-dancing, I would probably get all flustered and mix things up, and eventually die, so let's straighten out that list right now:

PROS:
- low level of difficulty
- usually, one never falls down
- no silly, humiliating jumps or spins
- Torville & Dean made it cool for 5 minutes
- upon exiting the sport, you can go on tours such as "Skate with the Smurfs!" or "Superstars on Ice!" (yes, this has mysteriously become an acceptable line of work)

CONS:
- it's not roller skating. There is no roll-bounce.
- it will never be cool (see above)
- you COULD fall, under the right circumstances
- pre-2004 (approximately), there were no words in figure skating music. This means skate-dance music consisted of songs with titles such as The 14-Step, The Swing, The Waltz (?), The Cold Tango and many more
- you had to touch a boy for extended periods of time
- you have to pay to touch a boy for extended periods of time
- silly and humiliating choreography (or 'pizazz periods' as some coaches liked to refer to them as)